I was in the Londres Vert with Newton. He was driving. The traffic was fouled up pretty badly down Avenue d’Espagne. All around us short habib tempers manifested themselves in repeated blasts on their car horns. Newton didn’t let it get to him.
They have no sexual outlet. This is why they are such noisemakers. Today I take my wife flowers. Do you know what this means? When she has her monthlies she says to me 'Don't bring me flowers, Newton' But today I can bring her flowers. You get the point?
This is all very man-to-man and "off-duty" so it's easy for me to get him started on Ceylon:
First people were shooting arrows to kill animals – Grrrr!
This is Newton's history of civilisation.
He gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes.
Stab-stab; eat/sleep, eat/sleep. Grrrr! stab-stab, eat/sleep, eat/sleep.
A habib behind us gave two blasts on his horn in time with Newton's 'stab-stabbing'.
That's it!" He took his hands off the wheel to perform the stab-stab, bayoneting towards me and gave a great Grrr! right in my face.
An endless cycle, Newton.
That’s right. An endless cycle of stabbing, eating and sleeping, Sir. Then Buddhism came. Civilisation came.
Big exhalation.
At first the society is very simple, I can say there are only two categories of person - the leaders who are bringing Buddhism and the masses who are followed them. So one day the advanced people, the Buddhist people are discussing what to do with these natives. They are discussing a long time and eventually they decide:
"First we will give them 'A'."
"OK you bloody fools! Learn 'A'. You must learn!"
So later they are sitting around thinking and smoking cigarettes. To illustrate the essentially refelctive nature of this activity Newton takes long and reflective puffs on an imaginary Gold Cut, before continuing:
"What will we do with these fools now?"
"Give them 'B'."
"Fools! Learn 'B'!"
And so it went something like that. You see Sir, the people now, they no longer have the patience to build in granite or create the foseyfassa that you see here. Even the carpets they make. They don't make them the way they used to. It is the instant gratification that people demand now. They have no patience to build in granite.
He was building up steam now.
You know, the British introduced the bread fruit to make us weak.
He chortles at his own audacity, his disrespect. Giggling.
Like opium in China. When you eat it makes you - he slumps behind the wheel, like opium. But we eat it with coconut.
See how the clever Lankan monkey outwits Imperial Fox.
So it does not affect our nervous system. Nothing happened to us.
A massive troop carrier-style vehicle belonging to the ODC shoulders its way in front of us. Not only is it ODC, but vehicle is bigger too!’
Drive on, Newton.